Q: Why do blondes need see through lunch boxes
A: So they can tell if they're coming home or going to work.
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A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts."
The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
We went to see a movie the other night.
I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.
Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.
“Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?”
“No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she’s pregnant.
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back!
What did the blonde’s right leg say to her left leg?
Nothing, they’ve never met!
A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself.
A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.
"What are you doing." they ask her.
So she replies "Hanging myself."
The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck."
The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."