Why did the blonde roast a chicken for three and a half days?
The instructions said ‘cook it for half an hour per pound’, and she weighed 125.
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There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model.
Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes.
The management apologized and gave her a new car.
Again, after half an hour she came back.
The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was.
She put in the first gear...speed up...put in second...third...fourth...fifth...
“And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.
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How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
"Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say ‘Hello'."
A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?"
The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
Why can’t blondes make ice cubes?
They forget the recipe.
Why did the blonde snort sweet n' low?
She thought it was diet coke.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
Q: What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
A: Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: Because she couldn't find the 11
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers.
She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop."
The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone.
The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.