Joke #5390

A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line. But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt. So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob? A. Because everybody gets a turn.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, light bulb
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, money, travel
What does a blonde use for protection during sex? A bus shelter.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A blonde calls her mom... Blonde: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!" Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?" Blonde: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Vote: has 86.02 % from 647 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, blonde, time
How do you keep a blonde in suspense? "Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say ‘Hello'."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions... Officer: What's 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm... 4! Officer: What's the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm... 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"
Vote: has 82.12 % from 188 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store. The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second. When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde