A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line. But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt. So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A. Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the plane and sat down in first class. A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat. She refused. The flight attendent was persistant, but the blonde replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class." The flight attendent was getting frustrated. Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move. Another passenger who overheard the conversation asked the attendent, "How did you get her to move?" The flight attendent replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."
One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together over the redhead's house while the redhead's father was out. The father had a pet parrot, which he did n ot let anyone else touch. But, when he left, the girls took him out. The girls were playing with it, when the blonde grabbed the parrot and accidentally ripped out one of its wings. “Now you've done it!” the red head yelled at the blonde. “Go buy him another one just like that, here's some money.” The redhead went into her piggy bank and gave the blonde $50. “Okay,” said the blonde, “but it's going to hard to find a parrot with only one wing.”
Q. Why was the blonde in the tree? A. Because she was raking up the leaves!
What's a difference between a blond and a mosquito? once you smack a mosquito it stops sucking
Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap? She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!" At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building. The blonde then orders the Same beer. She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window. And falls to her death. The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Prick when you're drunk, Superman."
There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician, "I want to go to the moon". The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says, "I want to go to Mars". He says she can go next week. The blonde says, "I want to go to the sun". The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says, "Well then I'll go at night."