Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle.
Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags.
The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?"
"Just sand," replied Jose.
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A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body?
A: He is all right now.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
They already have boyfriends.
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Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Warning ladies!
Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY".
This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy"
Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left.
One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says.
"Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."