Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle.
Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags.
The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?"
"Just sand," replied Jose.
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After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up,
I wish I'd never put it on now.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane.
During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace.
When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?"
"No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
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Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak!
They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used.
You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
They last longer and come with a warranty.
You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
They come in fashion colors.
You can keep them in maximum zoom.
They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
The parts that count are portable.
They don’t mind over-exposure.
They respond to the slightest touch.
The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task?
A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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