Joke #5141

Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men

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They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
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has 79.49 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, men, sport
Mum: "How would you describe me?" Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK" Mum: "What does that mean?" Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent." Mum: "What about JK?" Dad: "Just Kidding."
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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises? So oxygen can get into their brains.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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has 55.93 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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has 63.12 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
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has 57.83 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, political, soccer, sport
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
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has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women