Joke #5401

Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!
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has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: women

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A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
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has 85.49 % from 578 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
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has 70.33 % from 884 votes. More jokes about: golf, marriage, time, wife, women
This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she'd like a ride. The woman thanked her and got in the car. After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag. The driver said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, "Good trade."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: driving, mean, time, wine, women
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: women
A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me." The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" "Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
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has 74.40 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, disgusting, women
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
In "I Am Legend", Will Smith survived alone for years. 24 hours after a woman shows up, he dies. AND that girl stole his bacon.
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has 81.65 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, women
It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour." Testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge. "Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman... So I showed her."
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, lawyer, women