If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
...and then the devil said, "Let's put the alphabet into mathematics."
Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
A statistician's wife had twins.
He was delighted.
He rang the minister who was also delighted.
"Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister.
"No," replied the statistician.
"Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children?
A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Why was the math textbook so sad?
He had a lot of problems!