If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
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I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
Maths is like s*x...
ADD the bed
MINUS the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
Vote:
Why is 69 afraid of 70?
Because they once had a fight and 71.
70 is a rumored cannibal but no can prove who 78
78 my ass
Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Son: Dad, it's so cold in here!
Father: Go stand in the corner.
Son: Why?
Father: The corner is 90 degrees.
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him:
"Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?"
Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
Vote:
A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there.
So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?"
"Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: "Come on coach, give him another chance!"