Joke #5466

If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
Vote: has 71.77 % from 490 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Vote: has 55.37 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Vote: has 63.29 % from 214 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, sex
I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart. But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky.
Vote: has 79.48 % from 1122 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, racist
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, math
"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?" "One dollar." answered little Johnny. "You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my daddy."
Vote: has 85.83 % from 768 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, money
What is the shortest mathematicians joke? Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
Vote: has 52.26 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, math, work
Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch!" Johnny shouted his mother "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords." But, Mom, replied the boy, "That's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it." Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four."
Vote: has 70.81 % from 136 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, vulgar
Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left. The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right. The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
Vote: has 72.56 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geek, hunting, math, nerd, science
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
Vote: has 76.19 % from 462 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math