How I see math word problems:
If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
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What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots.
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation.
The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?"
The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four."
The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions.
Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research.
After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four."
The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions.
At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: Because she couldn't find the 11
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test.
The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?"
The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4."
Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question.
With little thought he replied, "4.0"
Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question.
The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
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