Teacher draws a pen*s on the blackboard .
Does any one know what that is?
"Yes," says Tommy.
"My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."
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My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
How do you make a snooker table laugh.
Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
Why did God give women belly buttons?
For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage?
He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."
Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?
A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
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Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women?
A: men have an antenna!
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Success is like pregnancy.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
Superman was flying around Metropolis when he noticed Wonder Woman lying totally naked, spread-eagle on her bed.
He thought, "Hmm... I could fly through that open window and be in and out before she even knew what hit her!"
With nothing more than a rustle of the curtains, Superman was on his way, thinking, "Wow! She is really tight!"
Back in her bedroom, Wonder Woman sat up asking, "What in Amazonia was that?!"
The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole sure hurts!"
One day a mom and her son went to the zoo.
There they saw two monkeys having sex.
The son asked "What are they doing?".
The mom said "Ohh they are making frosting", then they saw hippos doing it then he said "Mom what are they doing?" "Making frosting" she said.
Later that night he saw there mom doing it.
In the morning he said "Mom you and dad were making frosting so i ate it!"