Joke #91

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "firetruck"! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
Vote:
has 71.47 % from 810 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
Vote:
has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god, science
Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
Vote:
has 45.25 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
Vote:
has 76.21 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, gay, sex
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"
Vote:
has 85.61 % from 3432 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Vote:
has 80.49 % from 338 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, women
2 cowboys talking about s*x. 1 cowboy says "I like the rodeo position !" "I haven't heard of that ... " says the other cowboy, "what is it ?" "Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper "these feel just like your sisters" and try and hold on for 8 seconds !"
Vote:
has 85.38 % from 1306 votes. More jokes about: dirty
An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
Vote:
has 74.34 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: dentist, dirty, husband, old people, sex
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
Vote:
has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Vote:
has 58.81 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
Vote:
has 31.72 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation