Blonde Logic January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter! March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets! June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it? October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone! What a year!
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? A: She didn't know what one came first.
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year's hide and seek champion.
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in the ninth grade; which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she is the only one that's 18.
3 girls step on a magic rug that makes u disappear if u tell a lie. Brunette: I think I'm the prettiest girl in school. *poof* Red-head: I think I'm the most popular girl in school. *poof* Blonde: I think-. *poof*
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead wake up on an island with a gun. Only three bullets were in the barrel. "I'm going hunting," said the redhead, and she ran into the vegetation. She came back with a rabbit. "How did you get that?" the other two asked. "I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back. The brunette, thinking that she could do better, went out and came back with a deer. "How did you get that?" the other two asked. "I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back. "I could do better than either of you" said the blonde and ran into the forest and came back with bruises and scrapes. "What happened?" they asked. "I followed the tracks and got hit by a train."
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
How do blondes pierce their ears? They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she’s pregnant.