Joke #5559

A man is participating in a golf tournament. He was left to golf with just his caddy. On his tee-off, the golfer's ball lands in a patch of buttercups. The caddy tells the golfer he can take the ball onto the course, and he won't take a one stroke penalty. However, the golfer refuses and takes the ball out of the buttercups and takes the stroke penalty. Suddenly, Mother Nature appears. "What you just did was amazing. I am so proud that you enjoy nature and all of its beauty. For your reward, I will give you a lifetime supply of butter." "Thanks," says the man. "But where were you last week when my ball landed in the pussywillows?"

Why did the basketball player go to jail? "Because he shot the ball!"

Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games? A: Because there's not a fan in the place.

Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!

Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.

I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.

A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team," "That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team." "That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Dunkin' Donuts" was a basketball team.

Q: What did the basketball say to the player? A: Please don't shoot me.

When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!

Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV. "Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?" "I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied. "You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!" "OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"