Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.