Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
A true story, according to the LA Times..... Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?" Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Is your goalmouth open? High five!
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
Paddy asks Murphy, 'Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?" Murphy replies, "If they fell forwards they'd still be on the f*cking boat!"
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center? A: Nottingham forest.
When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own. "No worries," Jonah told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened." After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3. "What!!!!" said a furious Josh Kronfeld, "How did you let them get three points??!" Jonah replied apologetically, "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go."