Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
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Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place?
Well, it could have been worse.
How?
There could have been more teams in the league!
One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.
Smiling the Lord proclaimed,
"You don't have a chance; I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here".
"Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau.
Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line.
Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat.
When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"
The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan."
The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"
The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan.
The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"
"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire."
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"
"I'm a taxidermist," says the man.
The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
What does NBA stand for Niggas Boucing Around.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Q: What did the basketball say to the player?
A: Please don't shoot me.
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