What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? "Darling."
What's a bee's favourite sport? Rugbee.
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box? High five!
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."
Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
A true story, according to the LA Times..... Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?" Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"