What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? "Darling."
Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center? A: Nottingham forest.
Basketball is the perfect game for a black person. All you do is run, shoot and steal.
What do golfers use in China? China tees!
Q: Why is horse racing so romantic? A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?" Will: "I don't know." Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.