Joke #5585

Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up." When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress." The second man said: "I'll walk up to them and hurry them up." He came back and said: "We both have the same problem.”
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in London. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level. The Brunette team down below is living it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. She says, "What the heck's going on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
Vote: has 69.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, game, sport
Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, fat, sport, Yo mama
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy." Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
Vote: has 16.16 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Guy: "You see doc, the problem is obesity runs in the family." Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, family, fat, sport
Why is Cinderella such a bad football player? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sport