Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent" 
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After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"
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Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -
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Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -
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Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail.
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