Joke #5628

Q.How do you catch a polar bear? A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell. When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard. Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells "This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!" The owner replies, "I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys".
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, doctor
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, time
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish
The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city. After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope. Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say. He keeps asking the Pontiff questions about the church and, in particular, the nuns. "Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?" Grumpy asks. "No, my son, all of our nuns are at least five feet tall," smiles the Pope. "Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?" "I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?" "No reason," replies Grumpy. "But you're positive? Nobody in a habit that's about three feet tall, maybe two-and-a-half feet tall?" "I'm sure, my vertically-challenged son," says the Pope, trying not show his curiosity. "Okay," moans Grumpy. So the Pope listens to the dwarves as they leave the building. "What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six dwarves. Grumpy mutters, "He said they don't have any." And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin!"
Vote: has 77.36 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, church, disgusting