Q.How do you catch a polar bear?
A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore.
How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start off with a large fortune!
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Because he had a stinking cold.
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,
"Some things you just can't explain.
This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.
As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."
The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on.
"If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick."
The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?"
The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest.
1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room!
2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it.
3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2.
Home he replied to shag the cat!
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny?
A: A Cold dog on a bun.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
Vote: