Joke #5628

Q.How do you catch a polar bear? A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.

Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.

What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods.

Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.

Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. "Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills." "I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her." "I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to." A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald - the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house. Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old. But Robert - you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."

What is the fiercest flower in the garden? The tiger lily.

What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.