Joke #10842

How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, duck
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
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has 15.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog
A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage". The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you". Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here". He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block". The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?" The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!
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has 70.78 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
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has 15.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal