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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover?
A: His ass!
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife?
He was an aunteater.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
Teacher: "What does a duck say?"
Jenny: "Quack Quack"
Teacher: "What does a cow say?"
Madison: "Moo"
Teacher: "What does a pig say?"
Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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Joke has 55.72 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian.
He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed.
He asks the veterinarian:
Is my cat still alive?
Still not...
“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city.
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
Stegosaur-rust.
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?
Reptiles.