How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None, Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
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Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with " I ".
Ramu: I is...
Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, "I am."
Ramu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?"
"That way", the student pointed.
''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did u copy his?
Ramu: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week.
Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture.
Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil.
“And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?” the professor asked.
“I don’t know,” the student said.
“Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know,” said the professor.
“That’s not true,” the student replied.
“I never pay attention anyway!”
John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
Little Johnny's dad was constantly bragging about him to everyone. He was always telling everyone he met how his little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, and little Johnny was the best kid ever.
One day little Johnny's dad was outside leaning on the fence talking to his next door neighbor. As usual it was "little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, little Johnny's the best kid ever."
Just then the school bus pulled up and little Johnny himself got off the bus. His dad was elated. He turned back to the neighbor and said, "There's my little Johnny now! Isn't he the best kid ever? I'll ask him how his day went." So when little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad said;
"So little Johnny, how was school today?" "Oh school was great today dad! I had SEX in school today!" Then little Johnny went on into the house. His dad turned to his neighbor and said ever so proudly, "That's my little Johnny, he had SEX in school today! What a kid!"
Next day little Johnny's dad was back at the fence again talking to the next door neighbor as the bus pulled up again. As little Johnny was getting off the bus, his dad turned to the neighbor and said "There's my little Johnny, what a boy! Watch this, I'll ask him if he had SEX in school again today!" As little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad called out to him "Hey little Johnny, did you have SEX in school again today?" "Oh no dad, my butt's still sore from yesterday!"
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The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?"
Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor.
A white family lives on the top floor.
A mexican family lives on the second floor.
A nigger family lives on the botom floor.
At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it.
Which family lived?
The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Teacher: "Why did you laugh?"
Boy: "I saw a strap of your bra."
Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for the next 1 week. Another boy laughs..."
Teacher: "Why did you laugh?"
Boy: "I saw both straps of your bra."
Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for next 1 month."
The teacher bends to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out of the class.
Teacher: "Why are you going out?"
Johnny: "With what I saw I think my school days are over."
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