A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer.
"And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer.
"That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer.
"And 40 bulls," added the farmer.
The other farmer replied, "Boy!
That IS a lot of bull."
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I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard.
I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg.
That'll blow his little mind.
What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
They go sharkers.
Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
Why do cows like being told joke?
Because they like being amoosed.
Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.
The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket.
The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!"
Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?"
The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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What's at the end of Moby Dick?
A whale of a time.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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