Joke #567

A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."

Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.

When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.

What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.

Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!

What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.

A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.

What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef.

What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.

Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."

You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.