A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer.
"And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer.
"That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer.
"And 40 bulls," added the farmer.
The other farmer replied, "Boy!
That IS a lot of bull."
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Q: Why do cops arrest black people?
A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
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Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
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What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers?
Tyrannosaurus Hex.
Q. What did the frog say to the fly?
A. You are really starting to bug me!
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
"Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks.
The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope."
As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs.
As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"
The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll.
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat.
The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo.
The man agrees and drives off.
The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again.
He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo."
The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
