Joke #4904

Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.

The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've never had any accidents." "Nope. Ain't had one. Never." "Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?" "Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."

White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery. As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!" "No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Rabbits habits.

I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.

What's a rabbits favorite musical? Hare.

What do you call an ugly rabbit that sits on someone's forehead? Unsightly facial hare.

Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!

Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!