Joke #4904

Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas. He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals. The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers. This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo. It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
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has 79.27 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, geography
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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has 85.34 % from 490 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, heaven, sport
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, war