Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake? A: A jump rope!
What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare.
What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.