Joke #53

If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
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What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
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Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
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I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
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How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
Vote: has 79.19 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

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