If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
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Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?
Alike did was stand around making faces.
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow?
A: Moo.
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How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
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Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
They re both brown, except the snowball.
Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano?
A: Crabs on your organ.
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.
Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”