Joke #3585

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Vote: has 80.46 % from 142 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Patient: "Doctor, I can’t sleep." Doctor: "Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off."
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
Vote: has 26.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."
Vote: has 85.85 % from 1065 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, marriage, women
I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? B: No, I was standing on it.
Vote: has 84.07 % from 276 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, blonde, car, driving, life
A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, doctor, life
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote: has 64.51 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, programmer, sex
Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
Vote: has 85.66 % from 849 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, sex, wife
A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. "Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. "It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam. "No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches." "Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all. In fact, he heard no sounds at all. Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out. "Talk to me, baby." "Moo."
Vote: has 73.58 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, life