Joke #3585

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Vote:
has 80.72 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
Vote:
has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: divorce, life
Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
Vote:
has 64.05 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.
Vote:
has 71.22 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: life
Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
Vote:
has 12.62 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: life
Cool Morals: 1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 3. Save water. Drink beer. 4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...
Vote:
has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: death, life, math
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Vote:
has 71.44 % from 255 votes. More jokes about: family, life, work
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives.... "I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.." "Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?" "New York City..."
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, life
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life
A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
Vote:
has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, life