Joke #5682

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
Vote:
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, political, religious, time
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
Vote:
has 74.61 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question. "If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?" After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet." They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her. Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her. Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun." The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?" The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
Vote:
has 84.66 % from 389 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, ginger, life, travel
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
Vote:
has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Vote:
has 72.60 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
Q: What's in the wardrobe? A: Narnia business.
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: business, life
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
Vote:
has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
Vote:
has 65.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
Why did the Viking buy an old boat? Because he couldn't afjord a new one!
Vote:
has 24.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: How did the hail stone describe its life? A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.
Vote:
has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: life, weather