Joke #5682

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"

God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.

Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!

Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz? A: Cheez Whuz.

Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ? Doctor: I deal with you later.

My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.

Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.

You WILL be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.

Patient: "I have spent 80% of my life’s savings on doctors." Doctor: "Why didn’t you come to me earlier?"

In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul." I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening." The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life." I have asked her only: "for my money?"

A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?" God responds, "You are what you are" The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question. One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes" The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"