Joke #5701

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."

"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"

Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.

A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"

A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The father replied, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.” The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position. Confused, the boy asked what were they doing. The dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressionanle little boy, “Well, son, we are making you a little brother.” The little boy replied ,”Please turn Mom over, Dad, I’d rather have a puppy!”

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."

What is black and white and red all over? (A panda bear with a sunburn!)

Two little kids are in hospital beds next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice-cream. It’s a breeze.” “Cool,” says the second kid.” “What are you in here for?” “A circumcision.” “Whoa!” exclaims the second kid. “Good luck, mate. I had that done just after I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year.”

There was a couple wanted to go out for dinner for their anniversary but they didn’t make it with the babysitter so they had nowhere to leave their little boy! After a lot of talk father came up with an idea! "We will put a vinyl at the pickup deck, something with kid-stories so our little boy will sleep at once and everything will be fine!" "Ok," said the wife. So,that is what they did and went out sure for their plan. After about 2 hours, they arrived back home and listen noise and the boy screaming: "I waaaant,i waaaant,i waaaaant…" They run up to boy’s room and saw the little boy hitting the wall and screaming the same words: "I waaaant!" They wonder about what happened and then they listened to the pickup: "Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story?"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."

Q: What did the little black boy say as he was sliding down a zebra? A: Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't...