Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨" Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes." Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?" Athlete: "For stopping."
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Why did the bald man take up running? To get some fresh 'air.
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.