Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
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Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car.
It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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"I have the body of an athlete."
"Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.
The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors.
One is a young, healthy athlete.
The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’
‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient.
‘Why?’ asks the doctor.
The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
A: She wanted to gain weight!
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual.
She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.