Joke #11516

Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."

The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.

Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.

*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"

Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."

What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."

You're not alone. Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.

A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!" Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!" When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor. The mother ran over and stomped on it. The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"

Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!