Joke #11516

Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: athlete, kids

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Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.
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The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: athlete, friendship, sport
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: athlete
The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he’s sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him a £5.00 note. The boy looks at the money and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father,...you’re a virgin." The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. The next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it’s a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing. The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad another £5.00 note. Once again the lad looks at the money and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin." At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that’s twice you’ve called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?" "Yes," says the kid, "a tight cunt."
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has 77.81 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, money, priest, work
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
Billy: What a pair of strange socks you're wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots!! Drew: Yes, it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: kids
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: athlete, mean, sport