Joke #11516

Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, athlete
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, sex, women
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A local charity organization realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the donation seeker mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The person coming for donation began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister`s husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer`s voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The person who came asking for donation felt completely humiliated and said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don`t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, kids, lawyer, medical, money
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', we’re living with two h***s and a future congressman."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, dad, kids, money, school
"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete
Why do bears have fur coats? (Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A javelin thrower called Vicky Found the grip of her javelin sticky. When it came to the throw She couldn't let go. Making judging the distance quite tricky.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, poems
Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨" Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes." Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?" Athlete: "For stopping."
Vote: has 61.37 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, knock-knock
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, ugly, women