Joke #11516

Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
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The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
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Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
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"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
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Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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You're not alone. Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.
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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
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Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
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An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
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