Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
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Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
He’s been hitting the bottle for years.
He’ll be two tomorrow.
Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer?
A: They never get old.
Vote:
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.
The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors.
One is a young, healthy athlete.
The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’
‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient.
‘Why?’ asks the doctor.
The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?"
Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?"
Jack: "Prontosaurus."
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Vote:
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.