Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know.
I didn’t think sheep could knit!
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What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football.
During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning.
But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game.
When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede,
“Where were you during the first half?”
He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him:
"You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?
Hare today, gone tomorrow.
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it.