Joke #5748

Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
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has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"he replied. "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age." There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47." Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
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has 85.73 % from 2821 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, dirty, food, money
A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. "We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks. Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm." "But it stinks!" she exclaims. "So hold its nose!"
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has 82.41 % from 629 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
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has 61.56 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
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has 54.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Yo mama
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
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has 47.62 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
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has 28.38 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
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has 61.38 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
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has 22.93 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, religious, sex
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said: "That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair." the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister: "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said: "That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas."
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has 85.06 % from 2380 votes. More jokes about: dirty