Joke #5220

My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
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has 82.97 % from 2884 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
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has 49.99 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex
How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
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has 58.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
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has 63.33 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, sex, women
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
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has 84.82 % from 3599 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, life, sex
Q: What do you call nuts on a wall? A: Wallnuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chest? A: Chest nuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chin? A: A penis in your mouth
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has 61.06 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
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has 67.10 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
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has 59.12 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school
Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
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has 80.52 % from 721 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, gay, music
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
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has 75.44 % from 686 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, kids, sex
When do boys ask for a girl’s hand? When they get bored by theirs!
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has 76.67 % from 286 votes. More jokes about: dirty