My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal.
So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
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Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on.
Girl: Well its wrong...
Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast
George W. Bush and Bill Clinton both decided to have biographies written about them.
George called him "The Three Most Powerful Men - Bush, Dick, and Colon".
Bill called his "Sex Between the Bushes"
Vote:
Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water?
A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.
Teacher: "Who can tell a story?"
Little Johnny: "Our maid's ass."
Teacher: "Why?"
Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her ass and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
"Is it rape if it's your wife?"
"I don't think so."
"What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
A guy's talking to a girl in a bar.
He says, "What's your name?"
She says, "Carmen."
He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?"
She says, "No, I named myself."
He says, "Why Carmen?"
She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?"
He says, "Beerfuck."
A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom."
One day her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door.
He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away."
She says: "What about the good in bed part?"
He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"