Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth.
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were atop a 5 story building when a genie appeared and told them to run to the edge, jump off, and name anything they want to become.
the brunette ran, jumped off, and said butterfly, the redhead ran jumped and said eagle, the blonde ran tripped over the edge and said "ah shit!"
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
A guy's walking along the beach and he finds a magic lamp.
He rubs it and two blonde genies come out.
They tell him they'll grant him any three wishes he wants.
So he makes his wishes...
he wakes up in bed with 50 of the most beautiful women he's ever seen and he'd just made love to all of them.
Then he walks outta the bed and opens a treasure chest filled with more money than you could ever imagine...
then two KKK members come riding in on horses, throw a noose over a tree and hang him...
The KKK members take off their masks and its the two blonde genies one of them says to the other:
"I can understand why he wanted to sleep with all the women, I know why he wanted a chest full of money...
but I can't figure out why the hell he would wanna be hung like a nigger..."
One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to one of those annoying, pushy businessmen.
He asks her if she would like to play a game.
She politely declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway.
He says, "It goes like this: I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong you will give me $5, and vice-versa."
She says no again, and tries to fall asleep.
The man tries harder, saying, "Aw, come on. I'll give you $50 for each question. Or how about $500?"
At that number, the blonde agrees.
The businessman explains again, "If you get my question wrong you give me $5. And when you ask the question, and I get it wrong, I will pay you $500.
"Got it," she replies.
He asks, "Who was the sixth president?" She admits she doesn't know and gives him $5.
Now it's her turn, and she says, "What has purple legs, five arms and only two yellow teeth?"
The businessman doesn't know - he uses his laptop, checks the Internet, e-mails his friends.
No one knows the answer.
So he gives her $500.00.
Then, as they're landing he asks her, "What was that thing anyway?"
She thinks a few minutes, hands him $5 and walks off the plane.
A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys.
What is wrong with this joke?
1. This isn't a joke
2. The blonde is thinking
A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend.
She reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening.
But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either.
When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened?
She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"
A midget is riding a bus when a blonde steps on him.
“Hey you, brunette, watch where you're going,” yells the midget.
The blonde looks down and says, “I am not a brunette, I am a blonde.”
The midget replies, “Not from where I'm standing.”
How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
Flattered.