Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth.
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Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?
A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.
What job did the blonde have at the M&M factory?
Proofreading.
Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me.
Blonde 2: Dont worry, the whole alphabet scares me
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
A: Silicone chips.
A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts."
The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together.
Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles.
One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home."
The next day, they come to work on a donkey.
After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence.
"I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde.
"I'm not convinced that's our donkey."
"Why not?" asks the second blonde.
The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown.
She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep.
She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?"
The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?"
"Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car.
The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car.
The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.
"No!" yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.
"For the last time, no!" says the blonde.
Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"