Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?
A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
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What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore.
"Do you have any idea why?"
"Well, I had sex with an elephant!"
"You did?
But elephants are known to have small penises!"
"Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town?
He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession.
The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?"
The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors."
The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure."
The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather.
Kinky is using the whole chicken.
A voice inside said to me: ”Calm down, you are not the first doctor who sleeps with his patient!”
And another voice answered: ”but you are a veterinarian!”
In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Men are like buses.
One comes every 15 minutes.