What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs?
He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
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Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
She: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together?
A: In case you miss.
Why do men like having sex with the lights on?
It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
A hippie walks on a bus and sees a nun.
Being the straight forward kind of guy he is, he says "Hey baby, want to have sex?"
The nun says "God no!" so she gets off the bus angry.
When the hippie is about to get off the bus, the bus driver asks him "Hey man.
you see that graveyard across the street?" The hippie go's "yeah I see it, what about it?"
"well every Tuesday night at 8:30. the nun go's to the top of the hill to pray.
If you dress up as a ghost, and tell her to have sex with you, she'll have too"
The hippie replied "sweet!" So Tuesday night comes and the hippie has a ghost costume, 8:30 comes and here comes the nun.
The hippie pops out and says
"I am the ghost of a man buried here, and I command you to have sex with me!"
The nun go's "Well... ok, but I have a virgins aspect so it has to be oral"
So the nun and the hippie have oral sex and the hippie runs away and says "Ha, ha I was actually the hippie" and the nun said "Ha, ha I'm actually the bus driver!"
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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