Joke #591

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back

Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first? A: The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.

Chuck Norris Watches "the Nat.Geo. Specials" on Discovery Channel.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush? A: You don't share a toothbrush with your friends.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.

A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."

One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to one of those annoying, pushy businessmen. He asks her if she would like to play a game. She politely declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway. He says, "It goes like this: I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong you will give me $5, and vice-versa." She says no again, and tries to fall asleep. The man tries harder, saying, "Aw, come on. I'll give you $50 for each question. Or how about $500?" At that number, the blonde agrees. The businessman explains again, "If you get my question wrong you give me $5. And when you ask the question, and I get it wrong, I will pay you $500. "Got it," she replies. He asks, "Who was the sixth president?" She admits she doesn't know and gives him $5. Now it's her turn, and she says, "What has purple legs, five arms and only two yellow teeth?" The businessman doesn't know - he uses his laptop, checks the Internet, e-mails his friends. No one knows the answer. So he gives her $500.00. Then, as they're landing he asks her, "What was that thing anyway?" She thinks a few minutes, hands him $5 and walks off the plane.

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.