Joke #591

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back

A blonde calls her mom... Blonde: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!" Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?" Blonde: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."

There were two blonds on their way to Disney World. When they were getting close there was a sign that read, “DISNEY WORLD LEFT,” So they turned around and went home.

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to count the stairs on a escalator.

Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics. "Crap!"

A blonde and a both jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one will hit the bottom first? The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “green side up!” In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “green side up!” The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “green side up!” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” “I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A. She kept having affairs with men!

One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor askes her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The bastard called again"

How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer? There’s whiteout on the screen. How can you tell if two blondes have been using the computer? There’s writing on the whiteout.