Why should you never let a blonde take a tea or coffee break?
"It's too hard to re-train them."
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Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on her.
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
Q: How does a blonde order a root beer?
A: Extra large, hold the roots.
There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model.
Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes.
The management apologized and gave her a new car.
Again, after half an hour she came back.
The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was.
She put in the first gear...speed up...put in second...third...fourth...fifth...
“And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.
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How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s whiteout on the screen.
How can you tell if two blondes have been using the computer?
There’s writing on the whiteout.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell her to count the stairs on a escalator.
Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.
A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells off the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself.
After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.
"I'm here for the paint job," she said.
"Alright," said the man.
"Here is the paint and your brush.
I want you to paint my porch behind the house."
The blonde immediately went to work painting.
Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coat.
After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay.
She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a Porsche out back.
It's a new BMW.
Me: If a blonde girl and brunette girl jumped off a cliff at the same time, who would hit the ground first?
Friend: I don't know, who?
Me: The brunnete, the blonde had to ask for directions.