A bloke asks his mate "do you ever talk to your wife during sex ?"
His mate replies "yeah, if she calls."
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What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.
Roses are red
violets are blue.
My dick has glue
I offer it to you.
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?"
Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Vote:
Monica is at the dentist.
Half of her mouth is locked due to anesthesia, the dentist is intensively working.
Monica's mobile phone starts ringing.
Ignoring it four times, the dentist finally answers the phone pissed:
What’s up?
What’s up?, - some man asks.
Dentist:
Who are you?
I’m Monica’s husband
Dentist:
Listen, man, I’m about to finish, she will spit it out and will call you back!!!
Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it?
A: Cucumber, dirty people.
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age?
A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Make choking noises...
A bus full of nuns crashes and unforunatly they all die at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter.
He asks the first nun: "Have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
The nun replies: "I poked one once."
St Peter says: "Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven."
He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "I findled with one once."
"Wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven."
Then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front.
"Whats wrong?" he asks.
The nun replies "If im going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it."
