A bloke asks his mate "do you ever talk to your wife during sex ?"
His mate replies "yeah, if she calls." 
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A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?"
The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."
Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?"
The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."
Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been?
Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous?
Get back!
I have no idea how big it grows!
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?"
"Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Q: Ever had sex while camping?
A: It's fucking intents.
Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
A: Beat it. We're closed.
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?"
"So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
Q: What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common?
A: The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Vote:
An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking.
"Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice.
"Yes, ma'am."
"And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice.
"Yes, ma'am."
"How do you turn them off?"