Joke #594

Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, prison

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Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw. The deputy told him just three gunnysacks. The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.” So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one. Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.” The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one. Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said “Potatoes.”
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, ginger, prison
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, prison
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. "Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, music, prison, work
Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
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has 22.96 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, cop, prison
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire? A bunny with money.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: music, prison, teacher, vulgar
So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay. The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills. So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well. In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills." So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!" The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!" The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?" The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"
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has 29.98 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, fish, health, prison, terrorist
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
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has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women