There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm... they are making cakes. now come on, we'll go to the Zoo"
At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother "What are they doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes. Thats it we're going home"
The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the Mother says, "What? How do you know?"
She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
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They are going to play golf at the business meeting.
The guy flies out there a day early.
He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha.
He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for.
He takes her in back and starts doing his thing.
The girl starts going crazy.
She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!"
He thinks, "This girl is loving this."
Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one.
He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!"
The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language.
My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
Vote:
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.
After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?”
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!”
“Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Why did the semen cross the road?
Because I wore the wrong sock today.
Vote:
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.
Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."