Joke #5977

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

A man with a bad rash on his hands went to his doctor. The latter examined his hands carefully for sometime and consulted many large volumes on his shelves. Finally, he asked the patient: "Have you had this trouble before?" He answered: "Yes." Doctor said: "You have again got it."

Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.

A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"

I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.

I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song. It gives me time to change the radio station.

You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.

What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side." Bush interrupted, "Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?" The doctor replied, "That’s true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left."

Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.