Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest. Then he came back for his axe.
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.