Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs." Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?" Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."
Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite. Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.