Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs." Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?" Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
Whats long and Black?? The KFC line.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.