What is the longest word in the English language?
Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters! 
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In clas: 1+1=2
Exam: John has four apples and gives one away. Calculate the mass of the sun.
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school.
A: Because he forgot how to spell.
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One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home.
He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?"
His father replied, "Figure it out."
Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?"
The teacher said: "Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow."
The next day she came in wearing black!
When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong.
Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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