Joke #6389

A young lad went to a tailor shop in Scotland. He told the tailor, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here, and if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings." A few days later, the tailor called the lad back to the shop. "Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of material left over. Take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it." The lad rushed home and donned his kilt. He decided to run to his girlfriend's house to show off his new purchase. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to wear his underwear. When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, "Well, what'd ye think?" "Ah, but dat's a fine looking kilt," she exclaimed. "Aye, and if ye like it, y'ell really like what's underneath," he bragged as he lifted his kilt. "Oh, but dat's a dandy," his girlfriend shouted admiringly. Still not realizing that he didn't have his underwear on, he exclaimed quite proudly, "Aye, and if ye like it, I've got five more yards of it at home!"
Vote:
has 82.47 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions. One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?" Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."
Vote:
has 84.45 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, life, time
Like changing coins - I always desired to change my 60 old years wife to three 20 years girls!
Vote:
has 85.39 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: age, life, marriage, money, wife
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?" 2nd Eskimo: "Alaska." 1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
Vote:
has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
Vote:
has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, wife
Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge. Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m." 2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, life
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
Vote:
has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: health, life, money
Patient: "Doctor, I feel there are two of me." Doctor: "Very well, I shall see you, one at a time."
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, life, time
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a store opened next door with a huge sign that said, BEST DEALS!” To make things worse, another store opened on the other side with a huge sign reading “LOWEST PRICES!” He nearly panicked until he had the idea to put up his own sign, bigger that the other two, that read, “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
Vote:
has 85.62 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: life