A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
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Mary's father has 5 daughters,
1. Nana
2. Nono
3. Nini
4. Nene
What is the fifth daughters name?
If you see me smiling, I'm probably thinking of doing something evil.
If I'm laughing, I've already done it.
There’s one good thing about life.
It’s only temporary.
What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down?
Hoe-Down.
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?"
I replied I prefer the good one.
Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!"
I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
What do you find in a clean nose?
Fingerprints!
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts...
Man, and do you have life?
OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
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