Joke #3633

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life

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A old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech. Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, "will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city." "Well Mr. Mayor," the man said in a firm voice. "I voted against you in the last election."
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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has 53.54 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, religious
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.
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has 83.96 % from 495 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, life
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: kids, life
Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job." "Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."
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has 82.80 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: life, work
A guy goes out one day, hunting for bear. After a few hours in the forest, he finally sees a giant grizzly. He gets the bear in the rifle's sight and is about to pull the trigger when he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's another bear. 'Buddy,' the bear says, 'that's my best friend down there. I can rip your head off right now, or you can suck my dick. What's it gonna be?' Fearing for his life, the hunter says 'I'll suck your dick, Mr. Bear.' The next day, hungry for revenge, the hunter returns to the woods and sees the same bear. But as soon as he lines up the bear in his sights, he feels a tap on his shoulder. 'Buddy,' says the bear. 'Today, I can rip your head off or you can fuck me in the ass.' Again fearing for his life, the hunter replies, 'I'll fuck you in the ass Mr.Bear.' The next day, furious at what has happened to him, the hunter returns to the forest in order to kill same bear. Once again, he gets the bear in his rifle sights when he feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear shakes his head at the hunter and says, 'You don't come here for the hunting do you?'
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has 79.08 % from 691 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, life
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life