Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge.
He asks the first guy to stand:
"What is your name?" he asked.
"John," the guy answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered.
The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the guy and called up the next one.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"John," the guy answered.
"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered.
Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, 'This so-called adult store is begining to sound more like a smoking club!' he thought.
So he dismissed the charge and called up the next guy.
"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess; John." he said.
"No," said the guy, "My name is Smoke."
Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
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Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."
A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden."
The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
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