Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
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Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge.
He asks the first guy to stand:
"What is your name?" he asked.
"John," the guy answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered.
The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the guy and called up the next one.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"John," the guy answered.
"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered.
Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, 'This so-called adult store is begining to sound more like a smoking club!' he thought.
So he dismissed the charge and called up the next guy.
"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess; John." he said.
"No," said the guy, "My name is Smoke."
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles.
His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied.
"Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment.
He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled.
With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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