Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
What do you call Black people running down a hill? Jail break.
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. "Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.