Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court? A: For charges of battery.
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.