Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. "Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.