Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.