Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?"
He answered, "No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?"
The lawyer answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday."
On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? "
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o.
Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," says the judge.
Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"Wow!" says the judge.
"156 people! How did you manage to do that?"
"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says.
"I drew two circles like this: o O.
Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison... '"
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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