Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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Q: What's the scariest thing about a white man in prison?
A: You know that he actually did it.
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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Eight hours into his trial Paddy pleads guilty.
"Why didn't you plead guilty at the beginning and save the court's time?"
The judge demanded.
"Well," Paddy responded, "until I heard all the evidence I thought I was innocent."
Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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