Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
What do you call Black people running down a hill? Jail break.
Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
A couple young, entrepreneurial prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on the top of their car that read: "Two Prostitutes – $50.00." A police officer, seeing the sign, pulled the ladies over and advised that they will have to remove the sign or go to jail. Right about that time a minivan passed by with a sign on the side of it that read: "Jesus Saves." "How come you don’t stop them?" asked one of the girls. "Well, that’s a little different," the officer replied… "their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies of the night pouted a bit, but they took their sign down and drove off peacefully. The following day the same police officer was running radar when he noticed the same two young ladies driving around with another sign on their car. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he flipped his lights on and began to catch up when he noticed the what the new sign read: "Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter – $50.00."
Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
Yo Mama's teeth are so spaced out it looks like her tongue is in jail.
Why did the basketball player go to jail? "Because he shot the ball!"