In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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One day, Hitler decided to test out the skills of several prisoners in Treblinka.
As the first test, he had his soldiers bring him out the three prisoners, then line them up before him.
"How high can you jump?" he asks the first one.
"About 1 meter," answers the prisoner.
Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier.
"Take this one back to work, but give him 1 kilogram of rye bread."
After the soldier did as he was told, Hitler stood before the second prisoner.
"How high can you jump?" he asks again.
After a moment of thinking, the prisoner says.
"Two meters, if I really try."
Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier again.
"Take this one back to work too, but give him two kilograms of rye bread."
Observing this, the third prisoner did the maths and hatched a plan.
Finally, Hitler stood face to face with him.
"How high can you jump?" he asked him at last prisoner.
"My most illustrious Führer, I can jump 5 meters!" said the prisoner as a smug grin bloomed on his face.
Hitler frowned before turning to his soldier.
"Tell me, Walter: how tall are the walls around the camp?"
"Three meters, my Führer!" cried the soldier.
Hitler nodded again before turning to the last prisoner.
"In that case, shoot this one: he may become a problem in the future."
The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.
Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts.
Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
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The president of the USA lives in the White House.
Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement"
Me: "Thank you."
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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Chuck Norris was the original star of "24."
It was called "1."
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