Joke #653

What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
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What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
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Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
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Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self? A: Beef stroganoff.
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Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.”Oh, my,” said the bunny, “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind since birth, so I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, since I’m also an orphan, I don’t even know what I am.” “It’s quite OK,” replied the snake. “Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and find out what you are, so at least you’ll have that going for you.” “Oh, that would be wonderful” replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, “Well, you’re covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I’d say that you must be a bunny rabbit.” “Oh, thank you! Thank you,” cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, “Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you’ve helped me.” So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, “Well, you’re smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone, and no balls. I’d say you must be French”
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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What are cat-erpillars afraid of? Dog-erpillars.
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What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
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