What's red and green and goes at 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
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A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."
So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
Q: What is red and black?
A: A sunburnt zebra.
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A polo bear.
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines?
He drew 100 cats on the paper.
He thought the teacher had said lions.
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
"Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
Vote:
Are shellfish warm?
No they re clammy.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.