Joke #10128

What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
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Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
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A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on" "Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?" "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."
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An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."
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A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
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What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.
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One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
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What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.
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How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink.
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There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
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