What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody's herd.
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Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw."
"So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked.
"One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up."
The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?"
"You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do ducks wear to party's?
A duck-sedo!
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says:
Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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