What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody's herd.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
How do you get a hundred cows in a barn?
You hang up a bingo sign!
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.
What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Ground round.
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?"
Patient: "I think I’m a chicken."
Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?"
Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
"Pa's being chased by a bull!"
"Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?"
"Get me some film for my camera."
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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